Ricky M.'s Thoughts

My thoughts on life, relationships, religion, spirituality, the paranormal and more.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Isn't it Fair?

How many times have we heard of people complain of their crushes or current significant others not take them seriously only to find out that these complainers had been doing such things before. Funny thing is some of these complainers are seasoned players in the field who have just been hit by their bad karma.

Ever since I can remember I have seen this pattern recur to often. I used to have a friend who was gorgeous and according to her she was even invited to join a beauty contest. Being friends she would confide to me that she had five boyfriends. Being young and naive, I was never able to ask her exactly what kinds of relationships she was having. Was she really a girfriend or a one night stand. Point is she assumed she had five and she believed that they all loved her dearly. Being blunt and a concerned friend, I once asked her if she was afraid of her karma. She said that she was ready to face her karma. Being as beautiful and alluring as she was I believed she could pull it off. I figured she would replace any man whom would not succumb to her whims. One day she called me and told me that she was depressed because one of her boyfriends was two timing her. I was wondering what her problem was, she could easily find a substitute. Apparently she had fell in love with the guy and wanted to discontinue her relationships with the four others. I said she had five, while her boyfriend had only two and that she was still ahead. Apparently she didn't want that arrangement.

Funny how unreasonable some people can be. I knew of another person who had lots of men. It was a mixture of boyfriends, 'financiers' and I don't know what. After a few years she found out that her 'preferred boyfriend' had not only been cheating on her but had been living in with another woman right under her nose. Her friends and sisters told her that it was about time that she reaped what she had sown. I talked to her and she said that she should be allowed to have several, but her boyfriend must only have one.

This next one had a funny twist. This other woman had several boyfriends and one day her male friend warned her that she had to know something about her boyfriend. This girl was a little brainier, she assumed that her boyfriend was cheating on her so she had a ready answer. She told me that she would have said 'so what! I have two boyfriends as well'. It didn't go that way though. My friend was told that when her male friend was urinating in a public toilet, her boyfriend was looking at his private parts.

The usual answer of these people when I tell them that they are just getting back their karma is 'I don't mind getting dropped or fooled by the other men, but not by him.' Oh well, for all the religiousness of the Philippines we still have this. Initially I thought that this was a case of 'religious hypocrisy', but then I noticed that these people actually felt that they were doing nothing wrong. Can one be a hypocrit when one is in denial of his/her misdeeds? Was this a case of narcissicm instead? When one can love onesself so much that he/she feels that she deserves special treatment?

People love to be in denial. In denial that they are outright wrong. People should not expected to be treated fairly when they themselves aren't fair. And they shouldn't claim that they have changed to being monogamous when in fact they are still polygamous. It just so happens that their 'knight in shining armour' has come and that when he does not choose her, she reverts back to the wolf that she is. Do you really think that she really changed?

I have noticed a certain trend in relationships. When a player who toys with the feelings of people decide to 'change for the better' because of a certain person that he or she 'loves', that certain person ends up giving back the bad karma to the first person. Usually also, the first person still continues his unfair treatment of people and traumatizes himself/herself in the process for several more times. Marriage usually doesn't solve the problem, the person is stuck in a marriage which is usually the result of her/him on the rebound.


Anonymous Sands said...

Some guys will disagree. They will immediately say, "Life ISN'T fair!" Then there will be questions like, "Why do the bad guys get the good girls?" And, "Why do the bad girls get the good guys?" Well, it could all be about balance, you know... The karma wheel has to be driven in such a way sometimes. People wonder about life all the time, so life comes around and makes itself more interesting.

I have noticed the same thing in your last paragraph, indeed. Also, for example, person A had this big heartbreak or two, then out of wondering what went wrong, person B, C, D actually experienced the same type of heartbreak with person A after falling in love with person A. So person A gets to feel what it was like to be the heartbreaker this time, but could it be person A's fault? That's when person A can probably forgive the heartbreaks. This seems to happen under these particular circumstances:

1. Person A has been forgiven or let go of in depth, and likewise by any further karmas committed on the part of the heartbreakers;

2. Person A has the choice of not accumulating the same karma as the heartbreakers this way, and;

3. Person A gets to walk another path in the shoes of the heartbreaker that absolves itself with every step.

As always, there is the presence of the wildcard and choices can be made, so these circumstances cannot be too specific. At times #1 is the only sure thing and Person A actually does accumulate worse karma than the heartbreakers. Or Person A becomes the heartbreakers in a way X 10 or X 100. It doesn't follow that it will be bad for Person A, whose good karma can be all too obvious.

4:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can't relate because i'm not a player myself. if i can't see the man as a potential husband whom i can love, respect, value and at the same time use and extort things from, i won't make him my boyfriend! Those who are just cute but dumb or smart but ugly become my friends.those who are great but don't like me become strangers in my life.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are so correct! i do believe in karma that's why im accepting mine now. i did two-timed guys before and when my time came to really fall in love with this guy, after several months together he told me he still have a gf in the states. it didn't stop me from loving him though. stupidity right? but after countless heartaches, i've learn to let him go and move on. i promised myself that im not gonna play anymore so i wont be played again by those assholes there. right now, im not searching but i'm waiting for that one true love to come. i know there someone out there for me:)

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My boyfriend has small hands and feet, ergo small... But I don't mind because I'm madly illogically passionately IN LOVE with my buffed white chinito bf.

8:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as they said, it's not the size that matters, but in the way you use it :)

10:38 AM  

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